The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
