I want to stick my p in your. b.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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