Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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