he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
