So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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