Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You can't motorboat a personality
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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