I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
