I'm so fucking centered right now
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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