You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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