therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
