Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
