Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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