Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
