There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
