i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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