He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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