Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Randomize
