WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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