i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
