Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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