Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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