We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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