well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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