the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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