you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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