how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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