There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize