This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
