a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We are two peas in an std pod
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
