i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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