she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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