The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
