I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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