That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I would ride that face into the sunset
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
