Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
