she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
