At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
