My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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