YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
