remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
