i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
