I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
