i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
