All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
what the fuck happened to the tacos
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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