i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
