I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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