there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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