Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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