I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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