i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
