it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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