It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
