Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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