I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
