I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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