Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
