i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize