I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
