Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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