I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
