if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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