so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
