She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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