To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She's the barista slut.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
