Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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