Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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