Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
