You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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