Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
