Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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