I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
