I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
