theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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