Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize